Teacher's Day Celebration Script: A Humorous Tribute to Educators

Script for the "Teacher's Day" Celebration

Music by G.V. Sviridov "Time, Forward" plays. Two hosts appear in front of the screen.

Host 1: Everyone understands what school means to us, how important a place it holds in the government’s budget.
Host 2: School, teachers, students. You can feel the daily care of the president, the government, the State Duma, the governor, and many other organizations.
Host 1: Today is Teacher’s Day!
Host 2: After long meetings, deliberations, and discussions, it was decided to focus on a school where all the best pedagogical discoveries and methodological experiments are concentrated.
Host 1: All the best! The best! Our report comes from school No. ...

Performance by Class 5B
A television worker enters, loudly clapping a film box, and says: "Frame 38, take one." He leaves. There are two chairs on stage, covered with fabric. One chair is occupied by a TV presenter, made up to look like Yulia Menshova.

TV Presenter: Good evening, dear friends! You are watching the TV program "I Am Myself," and I am your host, Yulia Menshova. Today, we have a fascinating guest. I would like to invite the director of the school to our studio.
The school director, unaware until the last moment, steps onto the stage in complete confusion and sits on the second chair.

TV Presenter: Please introduce yourself.
The director introduces themselves. Applause from the audience.
TV Presenter: Everyone has a motto when achieving their goals. What is yours?
The director responds. Applause from the audience.
TV Presenter: Do you consider yourself brave for taking on this difficult job as a school director?
The director responds. Applause from the audience.
TV Presenter: Tell me, do you enjoy going to work?
The director responds. Applause from the audience.
TV Presenter: How do you reward diligent students?
The director responds. Applause from the audience.
TV Presenter: What do you do with misbehaving students?
The director responds. Applause from the audience.
TV Presenter: How do you manage to stay in such great physical shape?
The director responds. Applause from the audience.
TV Presenter: If a magician appeared right now, what wish related to the school would you ask them to fulfill?
The director responds. Applause from the audience.
TV Presenter: This is the kind of director raised by the staff and students of school No. ... Specially for the "Professional" channel. See you again. This was Yulia Menshova.

Narrator 1: This is STV-minus speaking and showing. Today’s broadcast includes...
Narrator 2: News — hotline. The program "School Yard." Special edition "ABVGDeyka." Announcements. Advertisements.
Narrator 1: News. We’ve received the following information on our hotline: "The curriculum in the new millennium will include additional subjects:
— Chemistry of organically indigestible substances;
— Physics of soft bodies;
— History of the USSR in anecdotes;
— English with sign language interpretation;
— For future brokers — algebra on fingers."
Narrator 2: All these subjects will be included in intermediate and final maturity assessments.
Narrator 1: Now, let’s listen to some advertising announcements.
The Mari cellulose and paper mill has started mass production of a new product — birch juice with pulp.
Narrator 2: The city of Kaliningrad has introduced a new holiday — the Day of the Foreigner, and in Star City this week, the residents joyfully celebrated the Day of the Airborne Kiss.
Narrator 1: That’s all for our news at the moment, stay tuned for more updates. Let’s turn the page to "School Yard."

Performance by 11th grade (song and sketch)

Narrator 2: Now, let’s hand the floor to the distinguished teacher of Russian grammar, Grammarina Glagolevna Oshibkina.

Teacher: Dear friends! I am a teacher with many years of pedagogical experience. When I check my students' essays, I often find oddities and ambiguities in their texts that make my hair stand on end — excuse me, it messes up my hairstyle. Some of their expressions even make me feel uncomfortable, and I blush with embarrassment. However, despite these moral and psychological difficulties, I agreed to appear on STV-minus and read these expressions to warn you, dear high school students, against such improper, in my opinion, mistakes. So, listen carefully:
— And the romantics go far, far away, where "the lonely sail is white," where the flora and fauna remain untouched.
— Davydov and Lushka spend evenings in the steppe. And the steppe is restless — not sure what the chairman is doing.
— Tatiana Larina grew up in the cradle of nature.
— He couldn’t make Vera happy because society had rendered him impotent.
— Pavlov, the academician, spent a long time conducting reflexes and suddenly turned on the light, and saliva started flowing from him.
— After Onegin’s departure, Tatiana often visited the office and slowly transformed from a girl into a woman.
— Olga went for a walk with Lensky, but nothing came of it.
— Tatiana loved nature very much and often went outside.
— Tatiana saved up, saved up, and then poured it all onto Onegin.
— Pushkin, like Griboedov, depicted women in a more expanded view.
— Famусов judged people not by their inner qualities but by their appearance.
— Tatiana traveled in a carriage with her rear raised.
— On the battlefield, the moans and screams of the dead could be heard.
— Poor Lisa picked flowers and fed her mother.
— The dog screamed with an unearthly voice.
— Gogol suffered from duality, standing with one foot in the past, while the other greeted the future.
— Othello went mad and killed Desdemona.
— Anna Karenina threw herself under the train, and it dragged her miserable existence for a long time.

That’s all for now, and I hope you won’t make such mistakes in your essays.

Narrator 1: Now, let’s move to the second page of our "School Yard" — the lesson "ABVGDeyka" for teachers. The floor is given to our students from the "Pink Pearls" club.

Student 1: Dear teachers! Allow us to sincerely congratulate you on your holiday and wish you health, personal happiness, and success in our education and upbringing.
Student 2: During lessons, we sometimes don’t notice how you worry, how you are stressed by us, your stubborn, restless, and generally — your beloved students.
Student 1: During our time at school, our "Pink Pearls" club has gathered and summarized some of the most commonly used expressions from you, dear teachers, that are known as "catchphrases." Here is your, or rather, our "humorous" ABVGDeyka.
A — Aaa! Caught again, another cheat sheet...
B — You’ll be fuming during the break...
V — Get out of the classroom!
G — Where are your parents?
D — Duty, the board is dirty again!
E — If you don’t shut up, you’ll have to write.
Z — Stick the gum on your nose…
I — This is a school, not a bazaar...
K — You’ll be cleaning the house.
L — Are you people or not?
M — I can’t handle all of you...
N — Don’t stick your nose where it doesn’t belong...
O — Move away from the window, there’s nothing interesting there, I don’t even understand who is shooting?
P — How horrible, when will you ever grow up?
R — You don’t need to draw formulas, you need to understand them and write them down.
S — Not funny at all, we’ll be laughing at the exams!
T — A "three" is a good grade for you.
U — Wipe that smile off your face.
F — Optional classes are for you, not for me.
X — Stop cracking sunflower seeds.
C — A circus, not a lesson!
Ch — You’re too smart, and yet you write with mistakes.
Sh — Calm down, only a little plaster fell off, the ceiling’s not going to collapse, let’s continue.
Sch — It’s simply inappropriate to tickle each other during a lesson!
E — This doesn’t fit through any door!
Yu — Is that a skirt on you, or just a ruffle? I can’t tell.
Ya — I can’t calmly watch all this chaos alone, I’m going to call the director!

Narrator 1: Dear friends, our program is now over. We invite you to watch fragments of mini-movies from the "Yeralash" series.

Sketch "Chicken Ryaba" by Class 5A
Sung by Nastya A.. Remember this name!
Concert number.

Narrator 2: And again, a cultural shock! A sensation! They were honing their skills at night, on Sundays. All by themselves!

Shabarov's Dance

Host 1: And now, the TV quiz. 1st prize — 100 dollars; 2nd prize — 200 dollars; 3rd prize — 500 dollars! (Fake money is prepared in advance.)

Three students step on stage holding balloons.
1st participant: This depends on the salary.
2nd participant: If you count up to twenty, you can even count it.
3rd participant: The bigger, the better.

The answer is "Rank." The first person to guess wins tokens equal to the points. Applause from the audience. The TV host announces the next puzzles.

Puzzles for the next part of the show:
"Hobby":
1st — Many people can’t live without it.
2nd — It takes a lot of time and money.
3rd — But it brings a lot of pleasure.
Hint: It’s different for everyone.

"Vacation":
1st — This is when you can lie in bed for a long time.
2nd — You usually save money for this.
3rd — This is when you do whatever you want.
Hint: You don’t want it to end.

"Advertisement":
1st — It’s made to grab our attention.
2nd — It’s very frequent, and you can’t avoid it.
3rd — They always offer something so insistently, you can’t say no.
Hint: You watch it often and still don’t understand what’s going on.

"Library":
1st — People come here to learn.
2nd — Some people stay there for a long time.
3rd — Many people often take something from there.
Hint: Our school has one too.

"Assessment":
1st — This is when your salary gets raised.
2nd — This is when a group of people evaluates one person.
3rd — This is when you tremble with fear.
Hint: You prepare for it carefully.

"Summer Camp":
1st — It’s warm, surrounded by friends, and everyone is having fun.
2nd — You eat and sleep at the same time.
3rd — It’s an expensive luxury nowadays.
Hint: You swim and sunbathe together.

"Victory":
1st — It brings a lot of joy.
2nd — You often shout and jump from happiness.
3rd — Many celebrate with you.
Hint: Someone here will soon experience it.

End of the broadcast. Awarding the winners. Applause. The TV host says goodbye to the participants and viewers, thanking them. Everyone leaves the stage. The hosts of the celebration appear on stage.

Dance by Class 5A

Sketch "Russian Language Lesson" by Class 8A

Host 1: Happy Teacher’s Day, dear teachers!
Host 2: Health and a good mood to you!
Everyone together: We love you!